On Life's Lessons

Some stuff i picked up while reading (yes, i do it as a past time). . Something I think its worth givin more than a second glance .. something to think about ..

"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do."

"Accept the past as the past, without denying or discarding it."

"Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others."

"Don't assume its too late."

On death: "There are mornings when I cry and cry and i mourn for myself. Some mornings, im so angry and bitter. But it doesnt last long. Then i get up and say, 'I want to live.'"

On dying: "Dying is only one thing to be unhappy over. Living unhappily is something else."

"When you learn to die, you learn to live."

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldnt. You take certain things for granted even thought you know you should never take anything for granted."

"Love wins. Love always wins."

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they're busy doing something they think is important. This is because they're choosing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"Love is the only rational act."

"Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in noise?"

"Dont let go too soon. But dont hang on too long."

"Be compassionate. And take responsibility for each other. Love each other or die."

"There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like."

"Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own."

"If you're always battling against getting older, against change, you're always going to be unhappy, because its going to happen anyhow."

"Fate succumbs many a species: one alone jeopardises itself."

"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, power is not a substitute for tenderness."

"If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it; They will forget you anyhow. If you're trying to show off to people at the bottom, forget it; they will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."

I guess thats enough thought for one night. Think about it. I did.

NUMB

I think I think too much. Oh god I wish I were clueless. I wish i didnt read so much into tiny little things, from the way he answers the phone, from messages, even to the way things are typed onto msn ( yes, you can tell if someone is typing then speculate on that ). Hate wondering whether or not i get a call, whether or not i'll be doing anything. Hate havin to give myself reasons. I hate non visual converations.

Ever know what its like to feel nothing? Completley numb. Like you've been submerged too long in a block of ice. Like you have no soul, just a shell walking aimlessly. Like you just dont feel. Things arent like colours on a sharp SXVGA LCD screen. Its like an endless mess of greys and greens and browns, blurred together on one canvas. Numb is when you havent slept in a while but you aint tired. When you havent eaten but you just dont feel hungry. Where you wonder if throwing yourself in front of a bus could hurt. And whether you could die, or end up in hospital with attentive people by your side. When you dont give a shit if anyone comes for your funeral, when you dont give a shit if you live or die, when youre not on a 64 tone polyphonic, but on a somethin worse than a standard monotone - the 'ring ring' tone.

I guess being numb is when you just dont care anymore.

A thought and a Holiday

Today’s conversation made me think:

Is it wrong to want something better? To be the best you can be, to want to try harder?
Is it wrong to push yourself to the limit, to go all the way? Is it wrong to try?

I've always thought to myself, if someone else can do it, I can to. Within reasonable limitations, that is..I know I will never be a super model/movie star/genius. So I push myself, I don’t want to be left out. I don’t want to at the end of the day, feel like shit cos I didn’t try. I don’t want to think that I might have, that I could have, if only I tried. I hate what-iffing.

So I push, sometimes to the point where I buckle under the stress, and I break down.I don’t want to fail. And I guess by fail, I don’t mean pass-fail kind of fail. I don’t want to disappoint myself. I don’t want to not be able to live up to expectations. Maybe I try to hard, maybe I expect to much.

Maybe that’s wrong??

Hmm...
I think something went wrong somewhere along the line...
Or I could settle for the fact that I’m just weird.

Oh yea .. the girls and I went up to Mount Pleasure for the weekend, to let loose and have some fun J .. and we did have fun. From mahjong sessions to pool dunking, hair curling-straightening to ice cream parties, drinking and junk food sessions, it was all a blast. Even when a hand phone accidentally went swimming with us. It’s a cozy feeling, nine girls squished onto one bed, fighting over the comforter and talking till the sun comes up and its not night time anymore. From fifth form till now, we’ve been coming up at least once a year. And sitting there pigging out on ice cream, junk, cereal, whatever was edible in the house, it’s nice to know boyfriends or not, working or jobless, local uni student or not, we all have mount pleasure and ice cream if we make the effort.

Though I didn’t take many pics (it completely slipped my mind the night before), check out the pics, nevertheless..

Yu Ming and Leech
Lazing in the pool
water babes :)
See Mun
A happy Chai floating
Leech and Me
Another poolside pic .. arent we a happy lot
The Babidadari : Me, Chai and Terri

And for a group of girls who basically had no sleep the night before and managed to eat an alarming amount of food between us (think about 100 bucks worth of food in a day – a dozen eggs, ten packets of instant noodles, 2 cartons of milk, eight tubs of yoghurt, cereal, a lot of junkfood, bread, ice cream, rice, chicken .. – yes, we are scary), I think we look pretty darn content J

Girlie Chit Chat

I was over at my girl friends Vilas house today, havin a little catch up session after not havin seen her for months. Anyway, going through our own little dilemmas and stories, i have come to a conclusion :

I am not alone.

Girls, in general want/need ( i have yet to figure that out ) to be treated like princesses. We thrive on attention and secretly want someone to worship the ground we walk on and have someones world revolve around us and solely us. Who doesnt want to feel like the most important thing on earth?? Selfish and troublesome, i know.. but still.. a girl can dream, cant she?? Remember the fairy tales we all learnt aeons ago??The ones where some prince charming sweeps the the princess off her feet and rescues her from some evil dragon?? Swan princess?? Cinderalla? Yea well..Most girls secretly want to be the princess. Similarly, teensy part in most guys want to be the macho prince .. Its just that its hidden somewhere next to the part that nurses the secret need to be babied.

On another note, i happened to catch Thirsty Traveller on the travel channel. And i think i've found my calling. For those of you who dont/cant watch the travel channel, Thirsty Traveller is basically about this guy that travels the world getting to sample all types of booze and find out its history, how its made, the festivals etc. ( today i found our sambuca originates from Rome and why they put in three coffee beans ) And he gets paid for it. Best job ive come across so far. The girl who travels the world compliling best hotel/beach/restaurant list sounds pretty great as well.

I should have taken journalism and beauty classes instead of engineering.

Something to Think About?

Had a friend send this to me recently .. I thought it was post worthy so here it is. Not often do you get a guy who sends/thinks stuff like this ..
Thanks Kar Loon! :)

" 'Love her not only in your heart but also in your mind. If you base your relationship just on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.'

'Love her for who she is. Don't even think about changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she should stay that way. You change any part of her, you'll change her forever.'

'If you love her, don't substitute her with some else, for they are all unique in their own ways and sooner or later you'll find something you want to change in the other person. Its not always her, it could be you.'

'Love her whole-heartedly. She willingly sacrificed for you so treasure it. Of the 6 billion people in the world she chose you. So love her, dont play her.'

'Don't ever let the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don't cause strain in the relationship, or you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be.'

'Don't expect perfection. We're all human. There's only one of her in the world & she's done the best she could. Just because it wasnt what you expected doesnt mean she didnt try.'

'Like another girl while you're in a relationship? Then I think it's time you remain single for a while. Don't go around breaking hearts, it's the most tragic & selfish thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide. If you expect honesty, be honest. Love isnt a game. And if you cant be honest, its time to rethink.'

'Don't go calling other girls "honey", "babe" or "darling". How would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be thoughtful for her feelings.'

'Flirting is for singles. People socialise & flirt around to get The ONE. Get over it when she's already yours, don't ask for more. Be faithful, enough is enough.'

'It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you. Something sweet & simple always gets the job done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.'

'Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day. Love her as long as you both shall live. Love her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talk only applies for singles, not for attached guys. Do that & you'll really break her heart. Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.'

'Make promises to her & make sure you never break it. Swear to her & make sure you keep it. Pledge your love to her & her alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break but trusting her not to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it. That's love. Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.'

'Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as usual. Broken hearts make broken people. Once you break her heart, she'll never be the same again. And once you lose something, you'll never get it back.'

'Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.'

'She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over. Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends". Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.'"

Being female and having had my own share of "bad times", im obviously for this little posting above me( which girl hasnt had these kind of thoughts before?? ) .. and i find it even more interesting that a guy thought this up. Kinda makes you think, doesnt it?

3 months of Absolute BLISS

Hello World.. Im BACK!

Yup .. hols again. Three months away from PB, away from campus, away from books. Three months of eating, living and sleeping Penang Island. So happy so happy :)

Actually only a couple of weeks more before i start work. Damn. Currently sitting with Terri and Justin while doing this..Just one of the many people i have vowed i will meet up with this hols .. and its so much easier doing things when you have broadband. :)

Anyways, i am currently done with Engineering Math and Statistics, i have packed up my Fluid Mechanic books, My Materials, Statics and Design stuff is packed up out of the way and i am currently very, very ready to have some fun. The girls will be back soon and its back up to Mt Pleasure (doesnt that name just make you think of odd things??) for a weekend and some much needed chilling .. So seeya people around .. and remember im always free for a day out, a breakfast, a dinner .. ANYTHING .. so, CALL ME! :)

In loving memory of Teoh Wei Loon

Yesterday i went to a funeral. My classmates funeral. He wasnt even 21 yet, just about to finish his first year in uni.

Im not going to exaggerate say how close we were and stuff like that cos we werent. We were friends, classmates. Not close friends. I cant even begin to imagine how his closest friends, family, girlfriend must be feeling. I cant imagine myself in the same place. I dont want to ever be in the same place. But it makes you realise, just how fragile life is. Just how suddenly things can happen. Where you spend your life reading stuff like this, watching stuff like this and you live in your secure little coccoon thinking it will never happen to me.

It still seems unreal. At the funeral, it struck me odd cos there seemed to be too many youngsters, teenagers. People in my generation who have at most have only gone to a grandparents, greatgrandparents funeral, or maybe not at all. At this age, death is something you think is still far, far away.

He will be dearly missed by all who knew him.

Stress Stress

i have come to a conclusion: i must be very stressed.

Its been over a week and ive regularly been gettin wiered dreams. Every night, without fail. Doesnt matter if i sleep at one or i sleep at three, i still get wiered dreams.
And damn are they wiered.

So there you have it : i am stressed. So if i happen to yell at you cos you annoyed me, so sorry. I have been off coffee for a grand total of two days and its making me feel stupid and sleepy.

Lightbulb

Some things took me six months to realise..

Others took me a little more than eighteen months.


There are things that took me close to twenty four months to see.....




And then there are things that i will probably never fully realise/grasp/understand.


Slow learner eh?
Or maybe im just stupid.

Karma.

And the winner is... the Radical One

haha!! Winning design!! Yup .. you know the design in the last post???? Guess what?? We won!!! First place!!!!! Unfortunately cant upload the pic of the three of us at the moment.. sorry ya.. But we Won!! The slack group, the group that was labeled lazy and pariah engineers (all cos we werent paying attention during some presentation), the group that cant speak chinese and do everything last minute..

IN YOUR FACE Baha!

Happy happy...

Almost done now.. just gotta hang on a little bit longer..