Friday, January 27, 2006

Saya Sebatang Kote

I picked this up off the net... absolutely hilarious .. hahahah
This was written by a Malaysian studying overseas.

His complete original post is as follows:

Enjoy :)

Saya Sebatang Kote

10 years. That's how long an average Malaysian student studies the Malay language in school. Funny thing is that overseas I meet a lot of Malaysian students who seem to have forgotten everything they learned about Malay. I meet a lot of Malaysians who can't speak, read or write Malay anymore.
As for me, my Malay had never been very good but it wasn't too bad either. I would sometimes get A's for my Karangans in school and I even used to do Syarahans.
Anyway, I wondered to myself: It has been 4 years since I finished Form 5. I know I definately can still speak and read Malay, but the question is... can I still write?
Whenever I think of writing Malay, I think of those days in Standard 1 where we would write small little Karangans (essays) with titles like "Saya Seekor Kuching". So, 14 years down the line, I decided to revisit those essays that normally have a maximum of 120 words. I sat down to write an essay without the help of a dictionary.

And here is my essay entitled

Saya Sebatang Kotek (I am a Cock)

Helo! Nama saya Abu. Saya sebatang kotek berwarna hitam dan berukuran 15 inchi. Ya, banyak orang kata pemilik saya Bob sangat bernasib baik dilahirkan dengan saya tetapi sebenarnya, saya tidak dicintai. Tiap-tiap hari, saya disimpan di dalam seluarnya yang amat gelap dan dikeluarkan cuma apabila tiada orang di sekeliling. Manapun, Bob ada kalanya meluahkan hatinya kepada saya. Bila tiada orang nampak, Bob akan keluarkan saya dan menyentuh saya dengan kasih sayang yang amat lembut sampai says muntah. Saya tahu dalam minda Bob... saya memalukan dia.

Semuanya berubah pada satu hari bila Bob sudah lebih 20 tahun. Dia tiba-tiba mula menyukai saya dan juga membeli pakaian cantik untuk saya. Walaubagaimanapun, pada satu hari... (akan disambung)
116 Patah Perkataan

At this point he gave up... and his friend took over :)

Walaubagaimanapun, pada satu hari, dia keluarkan saya di depan satu gua gelap. aku tidak beberapa suka situasi itu tetapi dia melembutkan leher aku dengan sentuhan kuku jari dia. tiba-tiba, gua it kena rusuk hantu! dia mempunyai dua batang leher and dua biji kepala! kepala it pelik sekali kerana rambutnya macam lima batang jari kaki! ok dan ini berlaku: Gua kena rusuk itu menggunakan kepala mereka untuk bunuh aku! mereka cuba memotong saluran oksigen aki dengan memicit saya dengan kuat! aku hendak "duduk" pun tak boleh kerana kaki terajang! Tetapi, nasib baik dia perlahan sikit kerana tuan saya menjerit kesakitan.

aku hampir termuntah tetapi tuan saya menyelamatkan nyawa saya dengan melarikan diri dari gua rusuk itu. pelik sekali, dia masih menyentuh saya seperti hendak memanaskan saya. TIBA-TIBA tuan saya mendekati gua itu lalu memasukkan saya ke dalam gua itu!Taat dan kesetiaan saya pada tuan saya hilang sekelip mata. aku ketakutan apabila dalam gua itu, menunggu apa-apa yang akan terjadi pada saya. aku tidak takut dibunuh. tanpa penyediaan, badan saya digosok pada dinding gua itu! gua itu busuk sekali dan amat kering lagi ketat! tapi perasaan berubah apabila gris magik mengalir pada dinding dari siling rumah. aku rasa pada masa itu, hantu dari gua itu sudah merusuk tuan saya kerana tuan saya terjadi gila dan memasukkan saya dalam Simple Harmonic Motion pada 1000rpm. lepas beberapa jam, tuan saya masih bertenaga dan gua sudah dibanjiri dengan air merah! air merah itu tertumpah keluar dari dinding pecah. aku terasa pening lalu memuntah.

aku mengotori baju cantik saya. aku amat kasihan sekali. tetapi hantu dalam tuan saya sudah terbang pergi. tuan saya melepasi saya dari gua gila itu, menanggal baju cantik saya dan mencampakinya. aku tidak kisah kerana baju itu bau coklat dan aku tidak suka coklat.

The End.

HAhahaha.. hope you had a good laugh.. cos i know i did.. Visit the authors blog at here.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The tide is out

I went back sometime later. Its was early evening, and the tide was out. So heres a clearer daytime pic of dead dolphin (sorrylah, not that clear.. had to use a phone to take the pic).. all red.. and bloated... with flies hovering about..

Ugh.

Remember Seaquest? Darwin?

Saturday, January 14, 2006

All the fluffy things

This is something i watched and OH MY GOD .. it is so utterly repulsive. . There arent any words to describe shit like this. Its cruel, its inhumane.. Its just plain evil. And thats putting it mildly.

People like that dont deserve to bloody live. Death would be an easy out. People like that should be tortured to the point of near death, then allowed to recuperate briefly before the whole torture cycle begins again. Dammit.

Click here to see what i saw.

Seriously ... for the love of god..

Dont do fur. Please.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Tide of Death

I was with the girls at Gurney drive last night .. Our usual hang our spot when we wanna chat but have no cash to go anywhere else (where you actually have to buy something) .. what to do ... finacial crisis .. ahahaha ..

Anyway, we were walking along the drive looking for a good place to sit when our noses detected the very strong scent of kiam hu ..

Guess what the tide brought in :

Dont know what that is ? Its a freakin dead dolphin. About slighlty over a metre long, very dead and very smelly. With a huge cut midway down its belly and its guts falling out.

Oh gross.. Ive never seen a dolphin up close. Its kinda sad that the first time i see one, its dead.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Lost

Today ...

I locked myself out of my room.

%&^#

Yup.. i locked the door, went to class and returned only to find out that my keys mysteriously dissappeared somewhere between my fluid dynamics tutorial and my journey home.

One roomie gone home, another two gone out for lunch and the melayu people at the admin office gone out to pray...

That pretty much left me stuck outside.

*&(*.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Happy New Year!

Its officially 2006!

So, Happy New Year!!

New Year Celebrations @ Glo !

Booze, Sex and Drugs!! Thats the way to usher in the new year ... Hahahah ..

Actually, just booze :) whiskey and tequila is enough to make me happy :)

Sorry girls... it'll be with you all next countdown, k?? We had Christmas together, righT??

Cheers to 2006 .. may it be tons better than 2005 .. heheh .. actually ... it will be .. less one person di mahhhh :P