I don't know..

.. where I am
.. or what I am doing here.
.. where I am suppose to be going
.. where I want to go
.. what I am looking for
.. where I can find it.

.. how to get there
.. how I will know.

.. how to go back
.. how to make it go away

Wait.

I'm not ready yet.
Things can't change. I'm not prepared. I'm not strong enough. I can't do this by myself.
I need you.
I wish I could do something to make it better.
Maybe this is all part of growing up. But I'm not ready for that either.
What if I'm never ready ?

Circles

I stare blankly at this page, watching the cursor blink.

So many thoughts, yet nothing to say. What am I scared of ? No one knows me here, it is so easy to hide. Yet I am still scared. I still pretend. For who?

Who knows.

For myself, maybe ?

Who am I lying to ?

God I don't know.

It is hard.

Looking for my reset button. Where is the damn button.

One step after another

I

am looking

for something

to fill the void within me

to take the edge off my hunger.

Looking for something to calm me.

No amount of ice cream or bread or biscuits can make it go away.

And it doesn't fade with time.

Still searching.

Not finding.