Colourblind

I noticed that the past couple of times I had the urge to scribble it was mainly to bitch.

I had the urge just to vent (pressure relief, har har)

Another day come and gone. All the days kinda blurred together, I cant tell one day from the other.

But its good though. I woke up this morning feeling okay - if you dont count the initial just woke up pre coffee period. I had a couple of conversations in my head few days back, realised I still have no conclusion, made a couple of calls back to the mother ship and all is good.

An epiphany - Im happy here. Happier here than I was in uni. I miss my friends, I miss the times I had with my friends - the dinners, the wild nights out, quiet nights in, shopping, coffee, gym, the beach, Paku nites, simple joys of midnight mamak.. I miss my pets, miss my simple routines ...

.. but I dont miss being in uni. I dont miss the cold showers, the crappy lecturers, the stress and feelings of inadequecy. Dont miss having to conform to some ridiculous idea of good behaviour, don't have to sweep up handed down crap, don't have to be caught in a crossfire.

Nas says thats probably why i ahem .. filled out. Cos Im happier here. Maybe I am. Its strange - I had to travel so far away to find myself.

But then again maybe I just flew so far away to make a clean break. Restart, reinvent. Ostrich-like, I know I have issues.

Am I different ? Different but the same. Its still me.

Im confusing myself again. But for now, I am content.