today would be the end of yet another really long day.. managed to do my shopping :) thnk i blew my budget though...i am so so broke...can see myself going to have to starve for th next couple of months...hope the recepients of my gifts will be happy with what i bought. went for a lil reunion dinner today..just the old gang...their boyfriends..and the pfs boys.. everything went well..been so long since the lil gang met up..guess everyone managed to put their differences behind each other....sat and talked.... you could say i had a good time after i got over the fact that jon just wasnt very happy dont know if hes still in the bad mood...makes it difficult sometimes...just dont know what to do seems like everything i do rubs him the wrong way when hes in those moods. wonder if hes just getting used to everything.... never sends me any mails. never even replies my mails. and he used to mail me all the time..same like he used to call me all the time sometimes i dont even know why i bother to mail him. there isnt even the slightest aknowledgement that he even recieves them.. i just dont know sometimes...guess hes a difficult person. sometimes i just dont know how to treat around him..how to accomadate to his moods. im scared that one day i might just get sick of trying then i dont know what to do jon is my whole world...guess hes the person i want to have a future with figure i would never had taken it so far with him if i didnt..he wouldnt affect me quite so much if i didnt.. it isnt easy growing up stpm results in two weeks time. i am so so scared...i feel so sure that whatever it is i could have done better i know that i screwed up. have a feeling its gonna take me a long long time to ever forget about those awfull papers. getting the lost feeling again.. dont want to sink into depression.